SyndicationIT'S BEEN ABOUT A LAZY DAY...
we haven't done much, except that i did clean out the truck a little bit today, since we're going to Billy's mom's for Thanksgiving. My two kids are gonna be there too. I'm looking forward to the visit & lots of good pictures.
It'll be my first time to be around all my kids and all 3 grandkids at the same time. I'm really looking forward to that. Oh happy day!
Manda's unhappy in her marriage & fitness equipment on the brink of leaving James. I think it will be best for her. However, it's going to be very hard on her, what with having 2 babies to care for. I'll do what I can, but sooner or later I have my own life to live too....like getting a job.
Mama is about to drive me crazy. she's very manipulative & thinks my schedule should revolve around hers. It's a good thing I don't have a job just now. everyone would be in a real pickle without Lynda to cheauffer & pet & dote on them. She's coming to stay with us from the 26th to dec. 2nd. then she's flying up to wyoming for 2 or 3 months. I have to admit it will be a sigh of relief for me that she'll be gone. I can't express the added pressure I feel psychologically around mama. she's such a controlling person. down to the most minor of things. I'm gonna lose my mind dealing with her yet. She's definitely improving healthwise, & getting meaner by the day. I go to the nurses & apologize for her attitude sometimes when she's been particularly rude & disorderly.
i asked ron if he'd consider letting me have the donkeys back. i really miss my donkey duo. they were so funny. frankly i'm missing a LOT of things....& ronnie is one of them. sometimes i'm not sure i did the right thing. what am i talking about. I didn't leave. HE LEFT ME!!!!!! He got in a real hurry for a divorce & it sure didn't take him long to replace me once he quit crying in his beer. I'm angry i think. i like my life as it was. i just didn't like that he drank all the time & turned into a liar. *sigh* he lies to me even now about stupid stuff. i don't know why he thinks he has to lie. I called him 2 nights ago & SHE *sharon the new girlfriend* answered the phone. that threw me for a loop. I just know what to feel about it all.
How am i feeling about Billy? I love him. But i'm really put off about the financial situation for I don't feel he's taking care of matters & my money doesn't go far enough. I just don't know if i want to live my life out being in dire financial straights all the time. I just don't know what i'm feeling right now frankly. I'm starting to see myself as a single woman even tho' billy lives here. I'm getting the umph under my belt finally to realize that i've got to take care of myself, for no one else is going to care for me the way ronnie did. about that one thing...ronnie was right. no one is going to cater to me quite the way ronnie did. I didn't have to do anything. literally.. now i'm having to learn to be responsible for everything. it's hard to make such a big adjustment, but i'm getting there. it's really hard doing all this and being bipolar on top of it all.
it'll be alright tho'. i'm getting there. i'm just taking one day at a time. managing the best i can. hope your day's going well. take care. TTFN. chow!